That Thanksgiving Post

"Now, let's go around the table and tell everyone what we're thankful for," says the family patriarch as he begins carving the 18lb turkey. You can see in the faces of the entire family, including the one who asked the question, the look of dread and obligation as they desperately try to come up with something that doesn't stink of malarkey.

Is this the way to demonstrate thankfulness? As some obligatory affirmation before we get back to food and football? Maybe sorta. But the day of thanks should be more of an opportunity to really explore our perspective and our priorities, beyond just saying "I'm thankful for family, now let's eat".

I know what you're thinking. Why am I putting down a glorious family tradition? After all, it's all in good fun. I'm not putting it down, I'm just saying don't be surprised if you don't have a good answer when put on the spot. Instead (or in addition), try taking a personal inventory before hand to get a little perspective.

I know it sounds like a strange question to ask around Thanksgiving, but what have been your biggest complaints recently? What has really driven you crazy, created stress, wore you down? Now breaking it down further, for each of those problem areas, are there opportunities to be thankful? Perhaps on the first pass you're inclined to say "no", but think really hard about it. If you look hard enough you can find a bright spot. And the better you are able to find an opportunity, gratitude, or joy in the most challenging of situations, the more thankful you will be with life in general.

As an example, I'll provide a few of the "complaints" I've had in the past and my related gratitude.

1. Complaint: I have no time. Gratitude: I'm thankful that I have a full life, and that people depend on me. It's a good idea to really look at how you're using your time. If it's just busywork or things that don't make you happy, then perhaps it's time to quit a few things and fill your time with things that do truly make you grateful. 
2. Complaint: I'm spending too much money, and I'm worried about finances. Gratitude: I'm thankful that I am blessed with an abundance that can support my family, our basic needs, and some of our joys. Finances are always a point of stress for people, and we always tend to spend more than we make. It's important to remember to be grateful for what we have rather than to stress out about what we don't.
3. Complaint: I hate waking up early every day. Gratitude: I'm thankful that I get to see a different sunrise everyday, that I get to start my day with meditation and exercise rather than stress, and that I get more hours in the day to appreciate life to the fullest. It's easy to get up in the morning and have your first thought be "man, I do not want to wake up right now." But that will set a negative attitude for the day. Instead, I give myself time to wake up by meditating and exercising. It gets my attitude straight to start the day.

There are of course more, but these are just a few examples. My list is lengthy and personal, and some are more difficult than others to find the gratitude. But there can be thankfulness in everything. Thankfulness for lessons, for joys, for mercies, for graces, for pains, and for sorrows. It's all about what we choose to take from it. 

Every few weeks or so, I get a letter from a child we sponsor through Compassion, and it helps me to put things into perspective. She is about 8 years old, and lives in a small village in Burkina Faso. In her life, she has not seen an iPhone, does not have working plumbing, and threats of violence are always a possibility in this unstable region. Yet her letters are never full of despair, fear, or heartache. But instead, I read about the joy she feels in learning new subjects in school. Or her optimism about one day wanting to become a nurse or teacher. Despite her present situation, her letters are filled with gratitude.

My complaints are puny in comparison to what many others in the world may experience. In that respect, it's easy to turn these into gratitude. For me it's a good exercise in humility and growth. If I can avoid pole vaulting over potholes and instead find gratitude in every situation, I can be a more joyous person. And in turn I can be a better person to others, and the world will be just a little bit better. That is the power of gratitude.

This Thanksgiving, remember to be truly grateful, even when you're sitting in traffic, or your team doesn't win, or if the food is overcooked. This time of year is a good time to get your perspective in the right place in preparation for the season of giving. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Next Steps - A Christmas and New Years Message

Christmas in Salt Lake City. A winter wonderland

As I mentioned in a previous post, I always love this time of year. The lights, the crisp air, the generally more pleasant attitude coming from everyone (while there may be some exceptions of course). The culmination of the holiday season, Christmas Day, is not necessarily my favorite day of the season. More so is the lead up to Christmas, when goodwill is at the forefront of our minds, and we are more frequently aware of the grace we are offered by God. At least this is true for me, especially in more recent years. Giving gifts is great, but it's the empowerment of the soul and the rejuvenation of the spirit which make this holiday special. As the Grinch himself expressed:

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store.
'Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!'"

We've all heard pontifications on "the True Meaning of Christmas", so I won't wax on. However, I will say that it is fitting that Christmas falls at the very end of the calendar year. If we choose it to be, we can make it a celebration for the blessings we have received over the course of the year. A chance to reflect on what we have achieved, and prepare our positive attitudes for blessings to come in the next year, beginning a week later.

I, myself have been profoundly blessed. Blessed to have a wonderful family, blessed to have another year of sobriety, blessed to be healthy, blessed to be motivated to perform at my absolute best, and blessed to have been given the opportunity to set an example for others, including my family.

Early in 2013 I was struck with an insane, uncharacteristic, and seemingly impossible idea. With my arm in a sling, and a gut hanging over my sweat pants, I somehow had the motivation to do an Ironman triathlon. Somewhat of a "New Year's Resolution". I had never swam any significant distance, didn't own a bike, let alone know how to ride a road bike, and the chronic abuse of my lungs and liver made the idea of participating in any endurance sport a laughable proposition. However, the idea struck me with such force that I had no doubt that I would achieve it, and I went about planning for success.

A few months ago I wrote an article in for MindBodyGreen called Stop Abandoning Your Goals! In it I advised people to set smaller, more easily achievable goals as milestones to the greater goal. That would make the greater goal more easily achievable. This was part of my "success plan", to create incremental goals leading to the bigger one. I signed up for Ironman Los Cabos set to take place on March 30, 2014, and then signed up for a number of shorter triathlons leading up to that date. Sure enough, eating a healthy diet and following a strict training plan, I was able to complete two sprint triathlons during the summer, where I was able to gain confidence in open water swimming, and get a feel for the race. Then I finished an Olympic distance triathlon, to get used to racing for multiple hours. Finally, a couple weeks ago, I completed a half Ironman. A far cry from the injured and unhealthy person dreaming at the beginning of the year.

So now after completing those distances, while still a significant challenge, the actual Ironman triathlon does not seem as formidable. It is just the next step. And with three months to go before the race, it's the final stretch of training, so it's getting real.

I know that was a long way from the original message of this post, but it brings us around from reflecting on the past year to how we can look forward to the next. I will no longer look forward to unfulfilled dreams and empty promises. I will continue to dream big and create a road map for achievement.

So this year, as you consider your New Year's resolutions, consider this. Dream big this year. Despite what you tell yourself, you can achieve it. To get there, just take the next step. Set smaller goals to propel you forward. Finally, have a very Merry Christmas, reminiscing on the blessings of the previous year. And may God grace you with a prosperous and dream-fulfilling New Year!

Gratitude!

Leading up to Thanksgiving, many people begin to talk about what they are thankful for. While it may seem cliche, I wanted to talk about what I am grateful for in my life. It seems that during the holidays many people force themselves to express what they are thankful for. But should we really have to force gratitude? Furthermore, why should we confine our expression of gratitude to just one holiday? Gratitude should be something we focus on year round. In fact, I try not save this gratitude for one day out of the year, I try to focus on it every day. It's how I start and end my day.

One of the reasons I love the holiday season is because, starting in mid-November, people begin to prime themselves with the mindset of thankfulness. That collectively changes the mentality and compounds the effects of positive thinking. If you're willing, it's easy to cultivate a positive attitude during the holidays through gratitude (again, if you're willing). The challenge is making this attitude of gratitude last throughout the year.

One of the hardest things for me to do during the day is wake up (or be woken up) and leave the peaceful comfort of the bed with a positive attitude. I don't care how hard I try, I will never wake up with an immediate spring in my step and cartoon bluebirds singing on my shoulder. Instead my first desire becomes to through my alarm clock through the first solid object I see and get back to bed. However, with that attitude present first thing in the morning, it begins an upward battle to change my perspective on what the rest of the day will bring. One of the ways I thwart this and reinforce a positive attitude for the day is to immediately begin listing ways in which I am grateful, either in prayer or meditation. I try to visualize clearly this gratitude as it enters my mind, thus drowning out any negativity or clutter that may exist. It's always beneficial to revisit this list once more before bed time. 

Unfortunately, while a lot of gratitude exists around the holidays, so too does negativity and stress. But don't be absorbed by negativity, instead be the tip of the spear for gratitude! If you actively practice gratitude daily and cultivate a positive attitude, you will find yourself attracting the positive and blocking the negative. Furthermore, you can bring a little holiday joy to the rest of the world all year long. 

There is no doubt that a positive attitude is contagious, and there is no better way to spread good will than to lift up other people in your life. So with that in mind, I'll share my "top 10" gratitude list with hopes that some of it may rub off!.

I am grateful for...

1. My family and friends, who have supported me immensely despite my insanity. The number of people in my life who say "go for it!" far outweigh, and therefore drown out, the people who say "you can't".
2. My wife who, in addition to practicing what's listed in #1, will additionally kick my butt into gear and find new ways to encourage me and others.
3. My kids who inspire me much more than I would hope to inspire them.
4. The fact that unhealthy obsessions and compulsions - such as drinking, smoking, or eating copious amounts of refined sugar - are no longer with me, and that today I can enjoy life without these things much more than I did with them. 
5. God's grace. There is no doubt that today I live in unmerited favor. On a daily basis I want to do my best to glorify Him rather than myself.
6. My willingness to seek out the positive and inspiring rather than be consumed by the negative. 
7. Freedom.
8. The ability to provide a warm, safe environment for my family.
9. That I have the opportunity to practice a healthy lifestyle on a body which I had previously squandered. I am fortunate to be able to find absolute joy and peace in discovering fitness and health.
10. That today I am relieved of anxiety, depression, and discouragement.

Additionally, I am grateful to all of you who have taken the time to follow me here and read this little blog. I enjoy doing it, and hearing the feedback. Have a very happy and grateful Thanksgiving!